The Bitcoin Directive

Bitcoin BTC - virtual money

Wikipedia says a Bitcoin is a peer-to-peer payment system and digital currency introduced as open source software in 2009 by pseudonymous developer Satoshi Nakamoto. It is a cryptocurrency, so-called because it uses cryptography to control the creation and transfer of money.

Yes, friends, it’s true: after numerous public and private sessions dealing with Colorado attorneys, use of Bitcoin technology—including a knock-down drag-out behind closed doors Attorney Regulation melee—the Colorado Supreme Court has voted to permit the use of bitcoin digital currency for all legal services. With one fell swoop of the pen, the Chief Justice issued a Directive dealing with Bitcoin related issues.

As expected, the primary concern was how this change would alter COLTAF use. The Court and its sage advisors finally agreed that COLTAF-B accounts would suffice, augmenting the present system.

A spokesperson for the Chief Justice stated that, “experimental, decentralized currency, or, peer-to-peer distributed crypto-currencies are the wave of the future, and the future is now.”

Whatever the chronological confusion engendered by these statements, it appears that the financial side of legal practice in this state is in for a hasty modernization. A six-month roll-out is anticipated pursuant to the Directive, with an opt-out provision for the technologically inept or any attorney with a registration number under 5000.

The banking community responded predictably. A local bank executive asked, “Are you folks living on the same planet that I am?”

When this trusty scribe related that I was just an honest newsman trying to make a buck, he shot back, “Well, we have real live honest-to-goodness American bucks here,” and proceeded to hang up.
The Colorado Medicinal and Recreational Marijuana Counsel issued an official Tweet, stating, “140 characters are simply too few to express, uh…what was I trying to express?”

Local numismatist Jordan Jenkins Jones scoffed at the news and inquired what my views were on returning the country to the gold standard. “Ah, Gold,” he mumbled, the words languidly issuing from his thin pinkish lips. In that I wasn’t entirely sure what bitcoins look like, much less what color they were, or even if they had any physical existence whatsoever, I thanked Jones for his time and stepped back in line for the tour at the U.S. Mint. Jones himself returned to his souvenir stand and eyed me warily.

After much international negotiating, I managed to get former Fed honcho, Ben Bernanke, on the line. Reached in Crete where he was sunbathing for a few weeks before returning to his new gig at The Brookings Institute, he explained that he foresaw serious inflationary blowback from the change.

“Why?”I asked.

Sighing profoundly, the monetary policy wiz said, “Well, because every lawyer in the state over 40 will need to hire someone to explain it to him or her, then set it up, then keep it up. This will result in the added costs being passed baton-like to the legal consumer.”

Wishing I was sunbathing in Crete, I begged the man for some sage financial advice.

“Plastics,” he said, before sashaying back to his luxurious cabana.

O Brave New World of Colorado law and finance! Of course, The Docket will keep its readers up to date on the Bitcoin Directive, once we on the staff wade through the onrushing tsunami of rage-fueled phone call, emails, Tweet, faxes, FB posts and even a cute photo essay on Tumblr.

 

By Greg Rawlings. who was born in a log cabin in rural Kentucky and raised by sharecroppers. After being the first person in his family to graduate from middle school, he worked in the mines until, after barely escaping a mine disaster, he decided that even school was better than a coal-y grave. Years of hard work and learning “regular English” resulted in him attaining the status of “lawyer,” a profession he professes to this day.

Leave a Reply

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS